A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that
the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it
be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Amazingly, the waiter was very patient; he walked back and forth and never
once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t
throw out the pest.
“Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t
even have an air conditioner.”
* * *
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar:
FREE BEER * FREE BEER * FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
Bartender: “Well, FIRST you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can’t make a face while doing it. SECOND, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands. THIRD, there’s a woman up-stairs who’s never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her.”
Man: “Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and they get crazier from there.”
Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. “Now” he says “Where’s that woman with the sore tooth?”